Bliss Like This
by Elfgoddess00
Summary: Rating is to be on the safe side. Hakkai and Gojyo and a poker game. Some psyco-analysis one-upping to go with your coffee?


Argh. Ok, something random here. Don't know where it came from or where it went. A bit of Gojyo/Hakkai randomness, since I find their relationship so fascinating. It is a song fic, and probably something akin to sacrilidge to use an Ani DiFranco song, but I liked it.

The song is "Bliss Like This" off her new album_Educated Guess._ Hope you like! Ja na!

**_OOOoooOOOoooOOOoooOOOoooOOOoooOOOoooOOO_**

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**_I said Venice_**

**_you heard Vegas_**

**_now I say either way_**

_**baby let's go**_

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It had been unfair of him. Terribly unfair, he felt, in hindsight. Which is, of course, always 20/20. Even if you only really had one eye to see with.

Hakkai studied Gojyo from beneath brown bangs as the lanky man studied the cards in his hand, one eyebrow raised in a half annoyed, half amused expression.

"Not like any of this matters." The slightly tobacco-roughened voice startled him slightly and Hakkai's head snapped up to full attention.

"Beg pardon?" the healer asked, slightly unnerved and wondering if he'd just been speaking his internal monologue aloud. Across the table, crimson eyes regarded him coolly, just a hint of smugness shimmering in their depths.

"I _said_, not like any of this matters." the half-breed clarified. Hakkai frowned, not comprehending.

_**I get so shaky**_

_**and I just can't shake it**_

_**I bliss like this**_

_**I'm one of those**_

"Not like any of _what_ matters, Gojyo?"

"This." Gojyo responded, casually waving a hand at the table and his own collection of cards. When the healer raised an eyebrow at him, Gojyo sighed in annoyance. "You're only going to kick my ass anyways. How the hell is it you're the only person I've ever hung around that's managed to one-up me in just about _anything_?" he mumbled in irritation. Hakkai chuckled, but it was strained. For some reason the comment left him feeling a bit stung.

"I wasn't aware we were competing for anything." The brunet replied calmly, taking two cards and discarding another two. He arranged his new hand in silence. Across from him, Gojyo snorted.

"We're not. I'd just like to keep some of my damn pride in tact, ya know?" he replied casually, adjusting his own hand. They began betting in silence.

"Gojyo, how can I be one-upping you unless we're actually competing?" Hakkai sounded exasperated, but he had a pretty damn good idea of what the half-breed was talking about. Gojyo had a constant need to prove himself. Even if he'd never admit it to anyone.

"Tch. You don't have to compete with someone to one-up them." the man replied, upping the bet. Hakkai met him and raised, leaning back in his chair slightly, eyes calculating.

"I'm hurt Gojyo. Do you think I'm purposefully trying to make you look bad?" the reply was teasing, but the healer's smile had an edge to it. Gojyo shrugged.

"Nah. You're too damn _polite_ to do something like that." he murmured, studying the brunet's face, cards now forgotten. Hakkai didn't like the sharpness of the word polite.

"Is there something wrong with being _polite_? Does that bother you Gojyo?" the brunet replied, smile still in place. Gojyo snorted again.

_**but I don't wanna wear you**_

_**wear you like a band-aid**_

_**wave you like a ticket**_

_**out of my good grief**_

"Does when it's for all the wrong friggin' reasons…" he muttered, taking a deep drag of his cigarette. He exhaled after several moments, draping one arm over the back of his chair and relaxing into a sprawl. The smoke drifted up towards the single naked bulb lit over the kitchen table, hazy and frail in the stale light. Gojyo's face had lost the smug teasing, suddenly becoming sober. Hakkai frowned now.

"Gojyo, is there something you'd like to talk about?" The smug smile returned full force with a seeming ease that made all of Hakkai's cloak-and-dagger smiles look practiced.

"Nah. You can't help it if you're a bastard. Besides, it's pretty entertaining sometimes. Unless it's when you're nagging me like I'm your freakin' kid." Gojyo's eyes returned to his hand, his somber mood sliding off his back and down his body like water, flushing itself out of the room. Understandably, Hakkai was rather perplexed, but agreed with the silent request to drop the topic.

"Well, if you'd remember garbage day and the fact that the floor and the bed aren't your ashtrays, I wouldn't have to." he replied, falling into the banter easily.

"Tch. Got along fine before-hand." the half-breed responded, re-sorting his hand as if that would increase the odds in his favor.

"Ara! Gojyo-san, are you saying you regret my company?" the healer teased. Startled crimson looked up to meet laughing green across the table. The red-haired man's expression eased.

"Nah—house never smelled cleaner." was the flippant reply.

"Ah, I see. That's certainly a relief then. Glad to be of use." was the equally good natured response.

_**I just wanna know you**_

_**know you like i know my garden**_

_**what you smell like when you're bloomin**_

_**what lives underneath**_

_**deep down underneath**_

_**way down underneath**_

"You could say that. Call." Gojyo twitched as Hakkai laid down his hand.

"Dammit, why _do_ I freakin' bother?" he bristled. Hakkai studied him thoughtfully.

"Perhaps you're a closet masochist?" he joked. The half-breed snorted, twitching in brief laughter.

"I'm starting to think so." he conceded.

"Well, there's certainly nothing wrong with that." the healer teased.

"Says _you_. I'm not a pain man myself."

"Oh?"

"Nah. Too much effort and energy wasted on something that serves no purpose." Hakkai's eyes widened briefly.

"Too much effort huh?"

"Yep. What the hell is the point? It doesn't do anything except make _more_ pain and get in the way of living. " Gojyo was idly shuffling the deck now. Hakkai studied him thoughtfully, digesting the words slowly, amazed at how Gojyo seemed to always pull the rug out from under his very carefully placed feet.

Suddenly the half-breed leaned forward conspiratorially, a smug smirk on his face. Hakkai leaned in as well, wondering at the sudden change.

"_Although_, there is _one_ thing that I do better than you…"

"Oh? And what's that?" Hakkai could think of a million things just off the top of his head that made Gojyo a better man than him. The majority of those things had been brutally murdered.

"Sex, of course." the kappa leaned back, grinning smugly. The healer was taken aback for a moment before finding himself and chuckling.

"How do you know **that**, pray-tell?" he replied. Gojyo waggled his eyebrows in an over-exaggerated lewd gesture.

"Lots of practice, of course. Gotta keep up that stamina, ya know." Hakkai raised one of his own eyebrows.

"Ah? But then wouldn't needing plenty of practice mean that you were inept?" he teased. Gojyo spluttered in self-righteous, surprised outrage. He blinked at Hakkai uncomprehendingly as the man smiled at him.

"You tryin' to play the sadist to my masochist?" he muttered. Hakkai laughed outright at that.

"Perhaps." there was a wicked gleam beneath the polished veneer in his eyes. Gojyo shivered slightly and the healer grinned. "Am I making you nervous?"

_**we do a whole lotta laughin**_

_**at the shyness that surrounds us**_

_**I do a whole lotta lookin**_

_**somewhere else**_

_**I don't need to look**_

_**no, I can just feel you**_

_**besides every time I see you**_

_**it just forces me to look at myself**_

"N-Nah." the half-breed leaned further back into his sprawl; his own way of masking discomfort through appearing unperturbed. Ah, Hakkai loved pulling out these intriguing bits of Gojyo. The man was forever making remarks or gestures that often threw him for a loop. He felt moments like this were payback. Hakkai leaned forward, resting one elbow on the table, head in hand.

"Oh _good_. Do share. I'm sure you have some rave reviews to tell me about? You know, to back up your claim, of course." he pressed on. Gojyo looked floored for a moment before a decidedly perverted grin swept across his features.

"_Well_, I'm more a show, don't tell kind of man myself, catch my drift? Hands on and all that." he waved his hand carelessly as if shooing the whole idea away. Hakkai clapped his hands once.

"Lovely. A demonstration then!" Gojyo blinked, clearly wondering how on earth he'd wound up in this position.

"A _what_?" he barked.

"A demonstration." Hakkai's grin had turned evil, despite the fact that it hardly deviated from his normal smile. Gojyo found that somehow frightening. The brunet kept Gojyo's eyes steady on his own, allowing crimson to sear searchingly through cool emerald. That startlingly striking, beautiful crimson. Gojyo eased his expression again, and leaned forward, elbows on knees.

"Well, that's a difficult request. I don't give demonstrations to just anyone, ya know. Usually gotta save 'em for the ladies…Don't want to waste my efforts…"

"Oh, I assure you, your efforts won't be wasted. Surely a little peek won't hurt?" unsure of when the game had gone more serious, Hakkai was suddenly intrigued. He wanted to see how far Gojyo would take this. How far the man would go in order to not expose the truth lingering in his eyes. Admittedly, the healer was slightly thrown off by the _look_ that was held within scarlet depths. He wasn't sure he was comfortable with it. Suddenly, the half-breed rose, walking around the table and coming to crouch before Hakkai. The brunet sat back and faced him, startled. Gojyo's nose had come within inched of his own, and he could feel the man's hot breath fanning against his chest.

"Well," , the lanky man breathed huskily, "so long as it's not a waste…" he trailed off, leaning closer. Hakkai's eyes widened considerably. And just like that, the kappa leaned forward, pressing dry, tobacco-roughened lips to the healer's own softly. Hakkai' eyes fell closed and he could taste beer and tobacco and remnants of the dumpling soup he'd made for dinner. It wasn't romantic. At all. But that didn't prevent the bitter sweetness of it all the same.

And just as quickly, the kiss was over before it had even started. He opened his eyes to see Gojyo already up and at the counter, pulling another cigarette from his pack and lighting up. He tossed the healer a wink, leaning briefly against the counter.

_**cuz I get so shaky**_

_**and I just can't shake it**_

_**I bliss like this**_

_**I'm one of those**_

"Told ya. Don't mess with the expert." there was challenge in his tone as he walked into the other room. Grinning, Hakkai stood and followed shortly after.

Yes, it really had been unfair of him, to place that burden of blood onto Gojyo. To see in the markings of sin his own sins, to place them on Gojyo like a living mirror. Gojyo already had enough sins heaped upon him; sins that were not his own.

And after all, Hakkai had learned that red wasn't only the color of blood.

It was also the color of fire.

Of passion.

Of love.

Of _life_.

Of a life worth _living_.

_**and I said Venice**_

_**and you heard Vegas**_

_**but now I say either way**_

_**let's go**_

_**c'mon baby let's go**_

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**_OOOoooOOOoooOOOoooOOOoooOOOoooOOOoooOOO_**

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